Life.

Why does life have to be so hard? Why can't it be easy and full of happiness all the time? Because life isn't life without the heartache and the pain. Life is like photography, we have to have the negatives to develop into the person we want to be.

Everything has just hit me all at the same time and it's just so much to handle sometimes. Lost my job due to going out of business at goody's family clothing, lost my boyfriend due to lack of happiness on his part, moved back home to st.louis and living with my parents, in the process of going back to college, and leaving all my friends behind in warrensburg, missouri. IT ALL CAME AT THE SAME TIME AND PEOPLE WONDER WHY I AM NOT MYSELF. TOO MUCH TOO FAST.

I'm sorry that im not myself. I'm sorry that i'm heartbroken. I'm sorry that i'm falling apart. I'm sorry that i cry so much. I'm sorry that you are my weakness. I'm sorry that i wasn't good enough for you. I'm sorry that i quit school for ONE year. I'm sorry that i don't make you happy. I'm sorry that i'm not physically attractive to you anymore. I'm sorry that i'm not the love of your life anymore. I'm sorry that i'm not the woman of your dreams. I'm sorry that i'm not as confident as i used to be. I'm sorry that i've gained weight. I'm sorry that you are the love of my life and that you are my world. I'm sorry that i've given up on love. I'm sorry that i don't have enough ambition as i used to have. I'm sorry that i didn't try hard enough in college. I'm sorry that i'm so stressed out. I'm sorry that i don't smile as much anymore. I'm sorry that i miss you so much that i can barely breathe.

But i will be back to my old self.

Watch me.

heartbroken but breathing,
Kessica

Broken by Lifehouse
The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
I am here still waiting though i still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out
I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain, there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you
The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead
I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for a purpose, they're still looking for life
I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing with a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain (in the pain), is there healing
In your name (in your name) I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'),
I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'),
I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')
I'm barely holdin' on to you
I'm hangin' on another day
Just to see what you throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that I will be OK
The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone
I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home
I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathingwith a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain(In the pain) there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'),
I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'),
I'm barely holdin' on to youI'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'),
I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'),
I'm barely holdin' on to you